He ends the message with:
10 ways that fathers embitter their children.

1. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother. (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Eph. 6:1-2
2. Starting with no rules or not enforcing the rule you have and then when the child is old enough to kill people then you impose the rules. Some of you had parents do this. The goal is to teach discipline when they are young so that when they are old enough they can be self-governing. Freedom comes from discipline. We experience this in learning a musical instrument. When you discipline yourself through practice and fundamentals, then you can have the freedom to play skillfully as you get better.
3. Hypocrisy in the parents. Saying one thing and doing another. Kids will see if we are fake and if we expect them to not disrespect their parents, but then mom disrespects dad, they won’t respect you. You’re training them to disrespect you. They will most often do what you do and not what you say.
4. Father’s who don’t admit that they are wrong. We need to teach them how to confess and repent from sin through our example to them and to our spouse.
5. Giving only rules and law but not teaching them how to receive grace and the gospel. If when you discipline we need to teach how sin separates us, and how God is loving to pursue us to bring reconciliation. We need to teach that God’s discipline is always loving and that when there is genuine confession and repentance, their sin is forgiven and never used against them.

6. Manipulating your kids through bribes. (e.g) They may like this for awhile, but what they are learning is that they should be governed by their lusts and not their conscience. They learn to do the right thing because it gets them candy, rather than doing the right thing because they love God and believe his promises. This stems from the selfishness of the parents to get the child to do what they want but it does not shepherd a child’s heart or teach him to trust and obey God for who he is.
7. Time out. This does not reconcile the relationship but rather continues to remove the child from relationship. It becomes emotional manipulation. Often it also just ends up being a vacation.
8. Grounding makes an issue last too long. Also the child who is home is not happy and becomes a curse to everyone who is there. Discipline should be swift and then reconciles the relationship.
9. Requiring obedience simply because of convenience or pride. They are being embarrassed in public or their kids are making them late for an important meeting. Who cares about the meeting. Who cares what people think about you. Are you going to raise a fool, or a child who walks in wisdom. Are you going to obey God and teach your child to obey, or is convenience your god? What is going to get more discipline, breaking a valuable vase playing ball in the house or disrespecting mom at the dinner table? Mom’s word needs to be more valuable than that vase, or you are teaching your kids that they are being given rules to protect your assets rather than to train them to walk in wisdom with Jesus.
10. Unholy Anger. Dads often think their anger is righteous because they are right and angry. Why are you angry? Is it because God has been disobeyed or because your will has been crossed? A child who receives discipline from an angry parent will not receive it as a loving, but will see it as abuse. If you are angry dads, confess that sin to your kids and cool off before you discipline your kids or have your wife do it until you learn to control your anger.